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And then there are the creepy questions and “must haves/can’t stands” about sex. If eHarmony’s question-and-answer sessions are supposed to simulate a real first date, they couldn’t be more clumsy and awkward. How many first dates have you been on where the guy said, “So how do you feel about premarital sex?” or “By the way, I MUST HAVE someone who enjoys having sex on a regular basis.” WTF. If the purpose is to weed out the creeps, I suppose it works.

I remember being a little girl of about nine and going to the supermarket one day with my mother. I was wandering around the aisles alone – having abandoned her at the tomatoes – utterly bored by the tedium of shopping (to this day I hate supermarkets.)

I remember having a dirty tissue in my pocket, snot-wrung and worn. I pulled it out and threw it on the tiled floor, walking on.

But the tissue called to me. I had abandoned it. How could I just throw it away, be so insensitive? To my young mind the tissue had a soul and I had wronged it.

Pretty deep thoughts for a nine-year-old but I clearly remember thinking them. They have stayed with me all my life. Such was the intensity of my relationship with that raggy piece of Kleenex.

At the same time I knew that the tissue had served its purpose and it was time to move on. I left it on the ground. I walked away.

Fast forward eleven years and I began the process of having relationships with boys a.k.a. interactive tissues with minds of their own and real live souls.

Ah yes, the boyfriends. A girl’s solid rock, her other half, the strong shoulder, voice of reason, bone of contention, heart, body and mind …. while it lasts of course.

It has only recently dawned on me how many relationships I have had in my life and because of what I perceive as their failure, how much of them and my life I discount and discard as used and useless.